Why do I have such resistance to this? It does feel like a dumb mistake, but it is mine to make.
Perhaps I am confusing it with the subordination of man to to god. Can't have that. But it doesn't really mean that. Domination is the wrong metaphor.
Sublimating is actually more overwhelming than dominance, it means yielding one's whole being to a greater one, acknowledging that you are a part of something larger than yourself, and owing your being to it.
This is actually a completely normal and pleasurable thing. People do it all the time! I feel it eludes me though, out of resistance or incapacity or what. Don't know how to be a team player or a good chorister.
Except – tired of excuses, I'm going to do as good a job as I can, partly by not trying so hard